Name :
Maria Ulfah
SRN :
1401120981
Subject : Writing II
“Tanglong Salikuran”
Tanglong Salikuran is a tradition event in South Kalimantan. This event very popular in south Kalimantan especially in Banjarmasin city. Tanglong Salikuran or Lanterns parade is a celebration each twenty-one night of Ramadhan. Lanterns are paraded does not like the ordinary lanterns. The forms and models of these
lanterns are a symbol of Islamic activities. Such as mosque’s
miniature, camel, pilgrims, Banjar’s traditional house , drum, and a
replica of burak, etc. To make the Lantern using need some material example : colorful paper, some of cloth, rattan and bamboo as a framework. Most of people in Banjarmasin very like it, because this event very interesting. When we look at the various forms of lanterns and see a variety of colors, it will make us spellbound. We will look the fanfare in whole route of parade. The people who watch this event
usually stand in the side of street. This event has held for a long
time. They said that Tanglong tradition has existed since the advent of
Islam in Banjar. In conclusion, The famous of Tanglong Salikuran does not only caused that event very merry but this event is a tradition since ancient.
- Lantern : Portable lamp with a transparent case for a candle or flame
- Buraq : a giant bird or according to Islamic tradition, transported the Prophet Muhammad
- Rattan : a plant has shaped long and flexible
- Fanfare : a noisy of parade
- Ancient : belonging to times long ago
Komentar ini telah dihapus oleh pengarang.
BalasHapus1 - the paragraph is good . the topic sentence, supporting sentence,and the concluding was good.
BalasHapus- the paragraph is good enough. but your topic sentence not yet covering.
- in 9-11th,I suggest you to clarify the sentence (When we look at the various forms of lanterns and see a variety of colors, it will make us spellbound. We will look the fanfare in whole route of parade. The people who watch this event usually stand in the side of street).
2 - the supporting sentence is covering the topic sentece.
- supporting sentence is clear. but there are some that I think is unclear as (a form of lanterns, parade route, people watching habits) my suggestion that you clarify the sentence section and always see Controlling idea.
-so much titiks make paragraph be came not clearly ( not specific)
3. the concluding sentence was summarizing the main sentence.
4. the Paragraph yet unity and coherence because there is still a mistake in supporting his sentence. you must fix a supporting sentence related to the topic sentence many more followed with a minor.
. I think your paragraph are correct, but there is wrong in classifying sentences. Maybe it is better this way "Tanglong Salikuran event is a tradition in South Kalimantan. It is a celebration of twenty-one each night of Ramadan. Tanglong Salikuran or Lattern Parade is popular in South Kalimantan, especially in Banjarmasin city. Lanterns are paraded does not like the ordinary lanterns. " You have to define in advance and explain the ideas of others.
BalasHapus2. Supporting sentences are the sentences that give more information about the topic sentence. You should be explain the topic sentence by giving reasons, illustration, examples, facts, statistics, and quotation. How to give examples ? To give examples you can use the signal phrases : for example or for intance, followed by comma. In the middle of sentence you can use the preposional phrase such as, followed by a comma like "The forms and models of these lanterns are a symbol of Islamic activities such as, mosque's miniature, camel, pilgrims, Banjar's traditional house, drum, and a replica of burak, etc.”
3. Your concluding sentence give an opinion, it is remind the reader of the main idea or leaves the reader with important points to remember.
4. A good paragraph has the elements are called additional element (unity and coherence). Please choose one of them. If you want to make it easier for the reader to understand your paragraph, you can shape it into coherence because your supporting sentence of smoke kind of logical order and your ideas are connected by the use of appropiate transition signals.
5. For language focus, please pay attention the use of capitalization. Always capitalize proper nouns - the names of specific people, place, or things. For example, "south Kalimantan" become "South Kalimantan"
1. the first it is about your topic sentence, I think your topic sentence is good.
BalasHapus2.Please attention the major and minor that support your paragraph. The supporting sentence should controlling the topic.
3.Your concluding should cover your paragraph. And if we look your conclusion I think it no match with your paragraph. You must change it, For Example : " In conclusion,Tanglong Salikuran is a famous traditional event in South Kalimantan, the famous doesn't only caused that event very merry but this event is a tradition since ancient.
4.It has unity .. Never stop writing yaa :)